Pings on the Heart

During my vocational discernment journey, I have been graced with profound moments of intimacy with God— what I affectionately term “pings on my heart.” These experiences have illuminated my path and provided tangible encounters with God.

My first “ping” came unexpectedly during the sacrament of Confirmation. As Bishop Thomas Paprocki anointed me with chrism, an inexplicable sensation surged through me. In that moment, I encountered the Lord in a profoundly intimate way.

My second “ping” occurred during “One Bread, One Cup,” a liturgical leadership conference for high schoolers at Saint Meinrad Archabbey, a Benedictine monastery in Indiana. Over five days, immersed in liturgy, I was surrounded by hundreds of young people united in faith. During the opening Mass, with hundreds of voices singing and resonating through Saint Thomas Aquinas Chapel, another inexplicable sensation surged through my body, another “ping on the heart,” a moment of intimacy with the Lord.

My third “ping” occurred over winter break of my junior year at Marquette University—during a six-day, silent, directed retreat at the Jesuit Retreat House on Lake Winnebago in Oshkosh, Wis. I experienced a profound shift in my heart amidst the silence and stillness—a surprising desire for the priesthood. Despite my initial resistance, the desire persisted and deepened over the next two years, guiding me toward priestly discernment.

My heart was immediately drawn to the Jesuits. I had a lifelong desire to teach, and I was inspired by my classes with Jesuits, especially the intellectual rigor of a theology course taught by Fr. John Laurance, SJ. A class on Saint Ignatius and the Spiritual Exercises by Fr. Edward Mathie, SJ, ignited my love for Ignatian spirituality. I became fully immersed in the life of the Marquette Jesuits through Jesuit Fathers Kent Beausoleil (my confessor), Stephen Molvarec (my spiritual director), Nicholas Santos (a fellow soccer player), Chris Krall (my racquetball competitor), and John Thiede (my discernment group leader). This journey was further enriched by the shared discernment of my closest Marquette friends, who also entered the Jesuit novitiate, Justin Prom, SJ, and Brian Martindale, SJ.

Six months after the retreat in Oshkosh, as the summer before my senior year unfolded, my discernment was clouded by self-doubt. One evening, during Adoration at a Cor Jesu event in the Milwaukee area, I heard a clear, unmistakable voice: “You can do this, Ryan. You can be my priest.” Overwhelmed, I sought confirmation of the voice. That same evening at Mass, as I received the Eucharist, the words of the Communion song were “I have called you, and you are mine” (from the song I Have Loved You by Michael Joncas). This was the confirmation I had asked for. In that instant, my path forward was illuminated.

A “Come and See” weekend at the Jesuit novitiate solidified my decision. The communal spirit—rich with shared prayer, laughter and recreation—gave me an immediate sense of belonging. The pull of Jesuit life and the novitiate was irresistible. Without hesitation, I began my application process as the “pings” on my heart had become an undeniable chorus. I wonder—how is God pinging your heart these days?